


Calling All Angels

by liamthebastard



Series: Angels [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Past Abuse, References to Abuse, check notes if you're worried, really vague references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-22
Updated: 2013-10-22
Packaged: 2017-12-30 03:26:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1013524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liamthebastard/pseuds/liamthebastard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The abuse referenced here is implied child abuse but is mentioned as a background for Dean's fear of losing control of his anger and becoming an abuser himself. (Consider it a parallel for his Hell guilt)</p>
    </blockquote>





	Calling All Angels

**Author's Note:**

> The abuse referenced here is implied child abuse but is mentioned as a background for Dean's fear of losing control of his anger and becoming an abuser himself. (Consider it a parallel for his Hell guilt)

Dean woke Castiel up that night shouting in his sleep. There was a time, early in their first relationship, that this had happened every night. Dean would avoid sleep for days only to collapse one night next to Castiel and wake screaming a few hours later. No matter what Castiel said or did Dean wouldn't explain the nightmares. And Castiel, he'd had enough of his own demons to deal with at the time, so he just hadn't asked. Now things were different, things were going to change. Starting with this.

“Dean, Dean, it's okay, it's me, it's Cas," Castiel whispered urgently, running a hand lightly over Dean's shoulder to bring him back. Dean woke a few moments later, curling into Castiel's arms with a sight whimper. For a time he just stroked Dean's hair in an attempt to soothe his fears away like Dean had for him so many times before. “You're safe here, you're with me," Castiel murmured as Dean settled into the bed. “Do you want to tell me about it?" he added on, a little afraid of what Dean would say. 

At first Dean just shook his head and moved closer, but after a bit he started whispering in spurts. “My dad... He was an alright dad sober. But when he drank he was a completely different person. Sometimes, I dream about that, that I'm back there." He fell silent and Cas didn't say a thing, sensing there was more to it. “And other times... Cas, I get so angry sometimes, and I don't know how to _not_ hurt someone. I'm terrified that someday I'll lose control, and I'll hurt you. I don't want to hurt you, but I don't know how not to."

Castiel kept quiet so he could process a bit beyond the blind fury towards the man who had hurt Dean. Anger wasn't what Dean needed right now; it wouldn't help either of them. Castiel continued to run his fingers through Dean's hair as he thought. “I think that's enough."

“You think what's enough?"

“You don't _want_ to hurt me. I believe that. Even when you're angry, and I've seen it, you've never raised a finger to me. You didn't do it before, and I know you won't do it now." Castiel spoke with confidence. Dean might be a little broken- okay, maybe a lot broken, but he wanted to improve and be better than his father was. “I think that together we can do anything, Dean," Castiel said gently.

“What if I do? What if I lose it, Cas, what then? I don't know if I could live with myself if I hurt you," Dean said forcefully.

Castiel responded in kind. “It won't be easy, Dean, but if we both work on it, we can do this. I won't give up if you don't give up."

**Author's Note:**

> No this series is not dead, I'm just swamped! Title from Calling All Angels by Train.
> 
> Note: if you suffered abuse and are afraid you will continue the cycle, there is help you can seek. My own mother broke the abuse cycle and so can you.


End file.
